Time for some self reflection . . .

Time for some self reflection.

OK . . . to begin with, let's deal with some reality here.

I am a 61 year old pastor of a local church who is also a certified therapeutic music entertainer.   In the church I previously served (for 10 years), I was the senior associate pastor.  I was in charge of a lot of things, but I wasn't the one making most of the big decisions that senior pastor's get called on and paid to make.  My main focus was providing the best pastoral care I could to members of the church and to the community.  Singing was one of the ways I did that.

I would sing at every nursing home and rehab center that had one of my church members as a resident.  Word got around . . . "he's pretty good, and doesn't charge for doing what he does!"
  
Prior to my leaving and moving to my current appointment, I was singing at 12 - 15 "venues" a month, and at several more if the little band I was part of had gigs.

Now, I'm the only pastor at my church.  My weekly focus is on writing the best sermon I can for worship each week, and providing pastoral care, leadership and making administrative decisions.  I sing at only two venues a month: out local senior center and at an area nursing home / rehabilitation center.  I serve a smaller community than previously . . . so the opportunities have been fewer.  I also play guitar for our informal service on Sunday mornings, but its just rhythm
support as our pianist plays lead (and she is GOOD at what she does!)

To tell you the truth . . . not singing and playing as often as I did in the past is eating at my soul.   But, life is what it is, and my professional and spiritual calling is to pastor a church.  Figuring how to balance that with my life calling, which is making a joyful noise, is a challenge.

It's been said, "to sing or not to sing, that is the question."   Not for me . . . there is no question.  I have to sing, or I am not being true to who I am.

What I have come to decide is this . . . playing guitar and singing even once-a-month is better than not at all!  Singing is my best form of self-expression. Actually, singing is only way I truly know how to express my soul.

How is your soul best expressed?