Something else has happened as well. I find that I have reconnected with the feeling and rhythm of what some call "nature," or "Mother Earth," or God's creation. Apparently there had been a disconnect that I wasn't aware of.
Keeping in connection with a natural rhythm in the greater DGW area has always been hard for me. There is such a fast pace of life, a constant hustle and bustle of going here and going there. What is most disconcerting for me is the constant "white noise" that drowns out the important still small voices from within. It numbs me in such a way that I sometimes miss those wonderfully tender "ah ha" moments that God quietly provides for us many times each day.
Now I know and can appreciate that some people are actually energized by such constant movement and noise. I enjoy being able to keep up, and the knowing that I can keep up; however, the process drains me in time. And in the end, I feel disconnected.
I suspect a disconnect comes as well from having had surgery and having to deal with and illness and subsequent treatments. I will remember that when providing pastoral care to others in the future.
So, this trip out to the mountains of New Mexico has been good for me, because I've reconnected again, in a way, with the feeling and natural rhythm of God's creation, of nature.
I think for many in our history, being connected with the feelings and rhythm of nature, of God's creation, was the dominant force of life and strength for us. I think many people, at some level, feel a loss of such a connection. There are few things, in my humble opinion, that awaken a variety of natural feelings of intimacy with God as being immersed for a time in nature.
I've reconnected better by:
-daily watching sunrises and sunsets
-watching wildlife
-walking a lot, over 100,000 steps during the 8 days I was at Philmont
-standing or sitting quietly and listening to wind blowing through trees, across mountains, and through meadows
-I've watched clouds form and float through the sky
-I got out in the rain, and walked and listened to it
-I've played guitar and sang, and began a new adventure of adding an Indian flute to my instrument list
-I've written and shared with others a bit more than normal
-I've watched the geography of the area as we have driven through it, marveling at what lies ahead and around the next bend in the road
-I've taken a bunch of pictures and videos
-I've prayed a lot ... or had some interesting conversations with God - this time I think God has been doing most of the talking
-but most important, I've allowed myself to listen to the feeling and rhythm of God's heartbeat ... and again appreciate the natural order of His creation, and again reconnected to it. And I've experienced, as a result, a tenderness to God's voice and touch that I'd forgotten .... a disconnect.
There is a strength that comes from such a reconnection. There is a hope that comes as well. And, there is peace knowing that your next journey is one you can't avoid ... a journey that has to be taken.
As a result, we will head home soon, for our return to family and work, for surgery #2 and the treatments that follow. I'm ready for it, and for what lies ahead, especially in new and exciting ministry opportunities.
Healing, in part, is about reconnecting with God's rhythm. Now it's time to head back home to share it with others.
God's grace still amazes me ... ><>
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