My friends new song has started me thinking . . .

Eric Folkerth is a pastoral friend of mine. He is also an accomplished singer, songwriter, poet and human rights advocate. His new song, "Tell Myself" has been speaking to me.

Now to be completely honest . . . I still don't know why . . . but then, I love and appreciate process, and I love mysteries . . . there is an answer to the question, "Why has this song moved me?" and I will discover the answer in time.

My first initial attempt at trying to figure out how this song has connected to me is perhaps somehow attached to two things I am working through in my own heart and mind.

First, one of my best friends experienced a very big emotional / relational hurt last week. And as his friend and brother, I am longing to discover how to control my own emotions to the situation, and not put on my "Superman" cape and fly in to help him . . . no I can't do that. But what I can and want to do is to become able to better listen to him as he shares his grief. He has been a friend for a long time . . . he has earned and deserves from me a listening ear and calm non-anxious presence/spirit.

Second, the fall calendarleading up to Advent and Christmas this year, both the churches calendar and my own, are as full as I have ever seen them. And, wouldn't you know it . . . I have realized that in my own anxiety, I have, at times, begun to "do things and act" the way others want me to act. That is what I promised myself several years ago that I would stop doing. Doing so is not necessarily bad . . . but I end up being so drained by the experience . . . and get out-of-balance in my life. Getting back in balance then takes an equal amount of effort.

So, I continue to ponder . . . wonder . . . pray . . . think . . . stay in balance . . .

God's grace amazes me . . . ><>